When Do I Know I Am Ready To Date?
By Ray Doktor, Psy. D.
Like most of us, I have been told that I should wait awhile before dating or jumping into another serious relationship after a breakup. Whether I paused with seeing new people or ended up being in a rebound relationship, I ended up learning and attracting what I needed in that moment. There is no avoiding insecurities or denying that I was creating the same problems. Even if I had waited a year and went through therapy, there are no guarantees that I would be trouble-free to be able go out dating again.
I learned that you really do not know what you know until you try. There are ways to prepare yourself to avoid losing your sense of SELF again and creating old negative patterns, but these are only guides. Here are some questions:
• Do you have the skills and support to stay loyal to your truth and path?
• Are you being driven by fear or love? For example, attempting to be in another relationship because you do not want to be alone is a recipe for disaster.
• Do you know who YOU are before allowing someone else to define you?
• Do you still harbor anger or resentment toward your ex-partner?
• Are you clear with what you want and do not want in a new relationship?
• Are you committed to growth and learning about yourself in relationships?
These 6 questions to help guide you through meeting new people will evoke self-reflection to better your clarity. Remember that there is no one outside of yourself who is more important than you getting to know YOU! Stay loyal to your self-discovery and journey and everything will unfold as it should.